NOW

Evolution

Helloooo! It's been a minute or more ... maybe you've noticed I haven't been posting and maybe not. There was a time I might have been hurt that "nobody missed me" or didn't even notice I wasn't putting out my thoughts and dare I say, "lectures". I have been sometimes ranting and raving for at least twenty years and then, I turned 70 a little while ago. I wasn't really thinking about it much. I love celebrating birthdays in general. Maybe they seem more precious as I age, however I don't feel like I get caught up in the number. On the other hand, I have definitely noticed shifts at certain ages. 

Forty was the first one that unexpectedly felt profound. At the time I mostly felt confused and many "issues" I hadn't dealt with for the first 39 years all came up at once. I did not handle the next ten years very gracefully, to put it mildly. I feel like a lot of women come up against the reality of their lives at this point. It's a wonderful time and place to begin doing some inner work and laying the foundation for the next 40, 50, or 60 years. 

Something about turning 50 felt like I was entering a "golden age". Life looked and felt so much easier and better than it ever had and I coasted for a while, living in momentum. Then, when I turned 60 life smacked me on the side of the head. Cruising along is one thing. Drifting is another. I was able to ride the current for a while, but I stopped paying attention to where I was heading and I didn't notice the dangerous, choppy undertow until I was sucked into it. Fortunately, I had a bit of good understructure to fall back on and I found my way back into a better vortex. In fact, life got really good again -- actually, that was always available to me. I simply lost my way for a bit. 

Then, I turned 70 and it felt "different". I didn't feel old ... in fact, I somehow felt energized and I felt a "shift". I once heard someone say that aging brings on a feeling of finally just not giving a f#*k about all the little stuff that used to seem important and really wasn't. At the same time, it highlights what's really meaningful. Instead of feeling like I had to guide others so they "could live better lives", I decided to let them live their lives. I haven't read her book yet, but Mel Robbins, author, podcaster, and motivational speaker, recently published The Let Them Theory. From what I've read about it, we are probably on the same page. 

Something else that's become clearer is how much the behavior I model has an impact on others. I think we've all heard that we influence our children and others more by our actions than by our words. This is so true. One day, while I was at work at the hospital, one of the lovely Unit Coordinators arrived to start her shift. I am so grateful for these people who contribute so much to how smoothly (or not) the day goes. I greeted her with a smile and bright hello and said something about being happy to see her -- I didn't "plan" my acknowledgment of her or think a lot about it. It came from my heart. To my surprise, she responded by saying that she often comes in not wanting to really speak to anyone for a bit and usually not feeling like she's in a good mood. However, she told me that my cheerfulness and  true caring made her feel better, even when she didn't really "want" it, lol. 

I'm not there all the time, but I am in contact with my heart and soul more than ever. I don't know where you or anyone else is, although there are definitely times when I know I don't want to be in the sphere of someone's negative energy and I do my best to move out of it and "let them" be where they want to be. If anyone wants to know why I'm happy or how my life can be so good, I'll gladly share. However, I have learned that words don't teach -- only life experiences. I can willingly and eagerly suggest ideas for taking action and I will tell my stories. You have to get on your own path and find your teachers. I might be one of them and I know that we can achieve so much more when we have support and connection. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own evolution.

Sparkles and Love,